Mindset Shifts to Help You Stop Comparing and Start Writing

Virtual Book Tours are a critical element of the book marketing mix and I am always excited to host guest bloggers as they celebrate their tours. Today we welcome Debra Kasowski. Welcome Debra!

This is Day 4 of my virtual book tour, and I would like to thank Eunice Nisbett for hosting me as a guest blogger in celebration of my virtual book tour on and the release of my new book “The Entrepreneurial Mom’s Guide to Growing a Business, Raising a Family, and Creating a Life You Love”.

Are you looking at what others are doing and wondering why you are not as successful as they are? Do you wish you were an overnight success? Are you holding yourself back from sharing your true gifts with the world? I want to help you shift your mindset so you can pen the words you were meant to.

I would be lying if I did not admit that I do look to see what other people are doing in the marketplace and my niche. It is natural for us to compare ourselves to others. It is almost like a status symbol of self-evaluation to see where you rank with the rest of the authors in your niche. I will tell you that you must be careful, because you can get caught in the comparison trap that serves no one.

Comparing yourself to others is a no win situation and a bad habit to get into. It can take a lot of energy to mentally shift out of this cycle.

As you already know, you probably are your worst critic. I know I am mine. It has taken me time to learn to make the shift. Looking outside of you and comparing yourself to others can also devalue the knowledge, skills, and abilities that you bring forward.

I don’t want you to underestimate your abilities, for you would not have had the creativity and ideas that you have come up with.

At some point, all of those comparisons end up being excuses that you tell yourself and which hold you back.

I want to empower you to step out of your comfort zone and stop comparing yourself to others, and start writing. Your time is now to become your best self.

  1. Acknowledge your successes. You need to be your best friend and cheerleader. By acknowledging each milestone and success that you achieve, you will increase your competence and confidence in your abilities. You should do this daily.
  2. Use comparison as a tool. You’ve heard the phrase that success leaves clues. Instead of beating yourself up and thinking that you will never get ahead, look at the person you are comparing yourself with, with analytical glasses. What can you learn from that individual? I can guarantee, that when you learn about an individual who you perhaps are envious of in the moment or of an accomplishment and compare yourself to that person, you realize that you would not trade your entire life with them. Focus on your strengths and your talents and use them to fuel your writing and creative spirit.
  3. Reframe your negative talk into powerful self-talk. Your thoughts and feelings affect your behavior and actions. You need to filter the messages that you hear. Your internal critic can talk you out of a lot of things. You want to stop, acknowledge the thought, and reframe this statement or thought into something positive and empowering. Your thoughts often become your reality. What will you choose to listen to?

You cannot compare apples to oranges nor can you compare authors to authors. Everyone has their unique style and authentic voice that they bring to the world. Use the clues around you consistently, and over time you to will be a sustainable overnight success.


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Debra Kasowski is a professional speaker, avid blogger, and business strategist/coach. She is known for provoking thought and inspiring many women and men to take action and live their life rich from the inside out! Pick up your copy at: www.amazon.com/author/debrakasowski.